Our journey - Mother + Son
1:18 p.m.
Cruz is napping and I'm finally feeling like I can get something done. I took a shower. These days I try to jump in when he's asleep. This proves to be challenging because he may look asleep but that could change in a heart beat. I've read a million books on sleeping lately and have learned that it takes a long time before they are in a deep sleep which means when they are drifting off to sleep beware - you might jinx yourself and think that they are down for the count. Trust me - this happens to me a lot. I get in that HOT shower for a little R&R and they bam - WAAAAAH!!! I get out. Put his "binky" in and get back into the shower. 2 minutes go by and I think I'm good again then - WAAAAH!!!!!! On and on we go.
Lately though we've settled into more of a routine. 2 hours up and then 2 hours down. If he's up for longer I know I'm in for it. He gets hyper and moody and then it takes forever to get him to sleep. I don't want to sound like I'm complaining. I'm not. Although I might be if it's 5 a.m. and he's up! Aside from the lack of sleep I'm very happy with my baby boy. He's by far more than I could have ever dreamed of.
Flash back to 2.28.13
This was our official due date. Aside from the restless nights, back pain, heart burn, and not being able to breathe real well at the end of my 40 weeks of pregnancy - my pregnancy went really well. I was paranoid most of the way through since I needed to make it to 38 weeks for my "good" maternity leave with my company and because of the fact that I was very premature only weighing 4.5 pounds. I wanted a healthy baby boy! Ask and we shall receive.
Cruz was not really interested in coming out any time soon. He was cozy in my tummy which is why I scheduled to be induced on 2.28.13 if he didn't come sooner. That day came. I called the hospital at 4 a.m. to see when I could come in. They said they would call me back. DANG! I wanted to have him today I thought! Everyone was enroute to Houston and what if?!? Well I got that call at 11 a.m. We quickly showered and rushed to the hospital. I can't leave out the fact that Brian got into some crazy car battle with some guy on 610. Anyway, we showed up and checked in. I was so scared. I couldn't believe my life was about to change and so drastically. I was scared for the labor. I was scared if I had to have a c-section. I was scared that my fabulous doctor wasn't going to be there. I was scared, nervous, and excited. I was about to be a MOM! I couldn't believe it was coming. Dr. Pinell broke my water. That hurt like hell. I was literally peeing all over myself for a couple of hours. My BFF Rex and my family began to arrive. I was given the meds to start my contractions. Eventually I got the epidural. That was scary too but I'm glad I got it. Although I was in labor I no longer minded that I was peeing all over myself. I wasn't really in pain either. Fast forward to 9 p.m. I was still in labor and waiting for Dr. Pinell. He was in the middle of deliverying another baby in a different hospital. I was stressed - I wanted him to be here. I had a great labor nurse that assured me that he would be here. He finally showed up around 9:30. That's when everyone was escored out of the room except for Brian, Rex, the labor nurse Jody and Dr. Pinell. He said I was fully dialated and ready to go. I pushed for about 10 minutes. I thought I was pushing but again with the epidural I really wasn't sure. I guess I did because before I knew it we were greated by CRUZ!!!!!!! I'm tearing up just thinking about it. My baby boy! He was 8.15 oz and 21.5 inches long. A big boy! I healthy boy!!! After he got his vitals taken care of and my family got to meet him they wheeled me away to another room. It was around 11 p.m. by that time. Brian and Tayton slept in that room with us. I did not sleep. This was the start of my sleepless nights with my bundle of joy! I was scared again. This baby is in my room. What the heck are all those sounds. Snorting, his eyes looking all over the place. Does he need me to do anything?!? I can't walk yet! Well I survived the hospital although I thought I was dying due to the fact that my lower region was beat to hell. My friend said that I would feel like someone hit me with bricks. She was right.
The next two weeks were challenging. I couldn't drive. I slept out on the couch with Cruz in the swing. I was up every hour at any sound I heard to tend to my new man. I felt a bit off. Baby Blues I'm assuming. Not that I was sad to have a baby but I did have a ton of hormones rushing through my body. I would cry if Cruz would cry and I couldn't console him. I would tear up if he was being cute. I was even emotional at the Johnson and Johnson commercial. Okay - let's face it. I'm still experiencing all of that except for first two weeks these emotions were magnified. Then finally I could drive so I drove to my doctor's appointment with Cruz in tow. He was okay. I was okay. We made it. Although I was scared he would be sad, cry, or even a bit stressed out (let's face it - me too) we made it through. Each day was more manageable. I've spent the last 7 weeks and 1 day getting to know my son. Now I understand him a little more than before. I have hours that are hard but are rewarded with the new things we are experiencing together. Over the last two weeks Cruz has been responding to me. He is smiling even more. Now he's kicking his legs and opening and closing his hands. He still has a little gas but I've bought everything on the market to help with that. I have found that swaddling him, rubbing his stomach, rocking him, saying "shoosh" over and over again, and giving him his "binky" helps him calm down. He is a great eater. I was very frusterated in the hospital when we were both learning to breast feed. Now we both have it down. He does get angry when he's trying to eat. This just means he's about to burp, spit up, or that he's tired. We have our 2 month check up next week. I get on the scale with him and he's about 13.5 pounds. He outgrew his newborn clothes in about one month. My litle guy is the light of my life. I can't wait to share our story together here. I hope one day he will read my words. My mom kept a journal for me up until I was in elementry school. I have read it several times. I want to document our days together. I have been posting picutres to Facebook and Instagram and sending videos to all that will watch but now I think this will be our home. When I first found out I was pregnant 7.9.13 I was so scared. I wasn't sure if I ever wanted kids. I hate to admit that but now I know that THIS is what it is all about. I look into my son's eyes and see so much of me, Brian, my dad, my brother, my Haslip genes. I see this sweet little boy that I want to protect forever and I will do that with all my heart.
Thank you friends for reading this and being there for this journey of motherhood with my incredible son!
More to come!
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