A means to an end ...

As of today 4-16-14 I am finished with my part-time work from home gig at Francesca's. It's bittersweet. I enjoyed the extra money (it came in handy) and I enjoyed how it took my mind off SAHM duties. Make this house spick and span? Can't. I'm analyzing store's performance. It also allowed me to stay connected to my job and my friends at work. Due to some unforeseen circumstances over the last few months this part-time gig has been truly needed which is ultimately forcing me to look at going back to work full - time. Although I know Cruz will do just fine I am having a hard time with it. These days with him are becoming something I treasure so much because soon we won't have these days together anymore. I don't know what the future hold long-term but for right now I have to go back to work.

Currently it's 3:52 p.m. I usually put Cruz to bed around 2:30 - 4 p.m. I rocked him a little longer today. We cuddled too and I rubbed his back. I am truly blessed with this little boy. He amazes me every day. It's hard to know that someone else will be spending time with him during the day. I know at some point I will have to let go but right now it just hurts. I've never loved something so much. All I want to do is make the right choices for him. We've done without in order to give him a great first year. I hope and pray with whatever road we take that it's the right one for him and for our family.

Cruz is 13 1/2 months old. He loves to climb! He's getting pretty good at it too. I used to hover over him to make sure that he's not going to stumble or fall. He falls a lot but rarely hurts himself. He is a natural born athlete. Anything physical he thrives at. He loves sweets. He loves all balls. He says "mama", "dada", "buba", "two" and then a lot of gibberish in between. His foot is a size 6. He is in 18 month clothes. I runs fast. He tries to outrun all of us. He loves drinking out of a straw. He can't get enough of chicken nuggets, mac & cheese, cheese its, and yogurt. He loves all books but especially "I love you through and through". He's getting his 7th tooth and is waking up a lot throughout the night because of the discomfort. He brings joy to so many people and is my shining star. I love watching how much he has grown. He's so smart!