18 months already

Motherhood tests me every day. Some moments I'm peaceful while others I can't wait to have a drink or pass him off to someone else. Toddlerhood is another animal. I couldn't wait for Cruz to do all this stuff but now can't believe how fast that went. Although I still consider Cruz my little baby I am reminded he isn't when a true little baby is around. At this moment my toddler is cuddling with me as I rock him to sleep. My house is a mess. I have food stuck in the carpet. I have wet clothes in the wash. I have grey hairs shining through. I am not as "fit" as I used to be because there aren't enough hours in the day. These complaints or gripes are truly a moment in time. I could probably have more time if I didn't rock Cruz to sleep however I love it just as much as him.  Happy half birthday my little baby! 

 

The end if the weekend 8/17/14

Cruz finished his final wonder week and I believe is going through a big growth spurt. He ate more for dinner than I did!  We went to the Y to go swimming Saturday and Sunday. Tomorrow I have work and he has school. Here are some fun shots from the weekend. 

Worst week ever

I've never said so many cuss words or lost as much sleep as I have in so long. Cruz had an eye infection and an ear infection. That went away. Now he has an upper respitory infection. He has slept terrible and won't let me sit down when I am trying to put him to sleep. He had hit me and tried very hard to pull my hair. I hate that he's in pain but he is testing my every sense of the world. I am trying to stay positive and up best but on the days I am with him all day long I am extremely worn out, tired, exhausted (emotionally and mentally). Currently I am down stairs listening to him cry. Cry because he's tired. Cry because I'm not in the room. I can't hold him for 1 1/2 hours while standing up so he can sleep. I don't know what to do. This cold,  this leap, 17 months old is the hardest time that I can remember in a long time. 

Full time starting now :(

Cruz and I start our fulltime week tomorrow. Sad :(. Here's some fun pics over the weekend as we celebrated July 4th  

First trip away

I'm currently sitting at LAX airport after a hellacious trip thus far. I had a 7 am flight this morning. Due to super long lines I missed in. It's 4:40 pst now. I didn't imagine that being away from Cruz would be this hard. I keep watching videos. I FaceTime'd him earlier. Brian said he cried after we hung up. Although he's not going to remember me being away in the grand scheme of things I will. Dada is doing great. Last night he wrote out an SOP (standard operating procedure) of Cruz. He's been logging in it too. I'm very proud of him!  

 

June

What a blur. Tahoe, Dallas, Rochester, Dallas again. Also working, cleaning, raising a baby, and some how finding time to watch The Bachelorette and wash the hair. I (we) are exhausted. It's been 21 days since last Breastfeeding. My boobs are forever changed. No longer DD's or perky. My grandfather passed away on Father's Day. Cruz and I went to Rochester for the funeral. That was a chore however so glad we could go and see (meet) family. Right now I'm rocking Cruz to sleep. Since he no longer breastfeeds he now sleeps 11 to 12 hours straight!  He is also trying to eat us out of house and home. I'm always preparing him a new snack. Favorite now is blueberries. 

Stats: 26 lbs

Loves chicken nuggets, blueberries, Oreos, and yogurt

Climbs all over everything

High fives, dances and shakes hand

Now hugging and grabbing to squeeze (love)

He's a true blessing to our family. I love getting him in the morning. He's always happy!  Xo

Cruz decided he was done

Cruz decided he was done with Breastfeeding on 6/5/2014. I didn't realize that this connection with my baby would end this day. I am sad. I went on vacation for a friends wedding and was away from him for 3 days. When I returned yesterday he didn't want it. I offered him some this morning, nap time and finally at bed. He rejected it all three times. Breastfeeding has been hard. It hurt at first. It was draining when I first started. It consumed my days and nights when he was a newborn. It provided comfort most recently. Tonight I rocked him for a bit and he rest his head on my chest. I am truly fortunate to have been able to breastfeed for 15 1/2 months. I am happy that Cruz decided for himself however am a little sad too.