Well after an event filled weekend of newborn babies and family I am keenly aware that my baby is not a helpless baby anymore. He's a brute 28 lbs at 19 months old. He's beginning to try to talk with a lot of "no's" screamed in my direction. He can rip off his shoes, shirt and diaper. He drinks from a cup. No bottle for him. He throws a pretty fast over hand throw with anything from balls, food, toys, cell phones etc. He gives me great big hugs. He also rarely snuggles anymore unless he's sad or sick. Even if he's tired you probably wouldn't know it because he running around in circles, climbing or jumping off furniture or dancing and clapping. He's full of energy and full of life. Cruz brings me/us so much joy. Instead of me rocking him and Breastfeeding him till he falls asleep I now have to put him to bed awake and lay next to him till he falls asleep. It doesn't take too long. I like to be next to him like this when he's drifting off to sleep and in a quiet place. I honestly have to say to my friends that have just became mamas not to be hard on yourself and to take time to love this moment. Just 19 months ago I had a newborn and now I have a very active, curious, funny, determined, goofy, loving, adventurous and outgoing toddler. Looking back I feel like I was overly hard on myself. I was consumed with doing it right. Now I know I am doing it right. He's just fine and so am I. Goodnight my toddler and forever my baby. I love you.
